Are Those Greener Pastures Astroturf? How to Get What You Want Where You Are
I’m calling the month of June “It’s Not (Just) Me, It’s You (Too)” month. But unlike the victim of a relationship gone awry, my goal is to help employees understand just how much of their engagement at work (happiness) is in their power.
When the first edition of “Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em” came out, it was a mega hit. My co-author Sharon Jordan-Evans and I were thrilled. Then we started getting feedback from managers who said, “Your book is great, your training was great, but why is the responsibility always on our shoulders? What roles do the employees play in their own careers?” And we slapped our own foreheads, gob smacked by our stupidity and realized…they were right! We said - let’s put some of the responsibility for engagement into the heads and hearts of employees and help them understand how to get what they want at work without moving to new pastures.
When the Shift Hits the Fan
What we’re talking about here is an ownershift, which is ownership in action. We aren’t suggesting that employees take a sledgehammer to their job descriptions, but rather consider what it is they want from work and ask for it in a way that the manager can meet them where they are and help them make it work. Both parties have ownership, but the career conversation can start with the employee.
You may be thinking: Who do you need to ask? And for what? How will you go about it? Try the following steps.
Step 1: Get Crystal-Clear about What You Want
So, what do you want? Get to the bottom of it. Interview yourself:
What about my job makes me jump out of bed in the morning?
What makes me hit the snooze button?
If I were to win the lottery and resign, what would I miss the most?
What would be the one change in my current role that would make me want to stay for a long time?
If I had a magic wand, what would be the one thing I would change about my department or team?
If I had to go back to a position in my past and stay for an extended period of time, which one would it be and why?
The answers to these questions will reveal what you want.
Step 2: Consider Who, When, and How You’ll Ask
Who can deliver what you want? Consider these people:
Those with information you need
Good listeners and advice givers
Decision makers (your boss?)
How and when will you approach them? Consider their preferences:
Should you request the conversation by e-mail, voice mail, or face-to-face?
Is it best to meet early in the morning or over lunch? Monday or later in the week?
How will you open the conversation? Consider these guidelines:
Get to the point. Thank the person for his or her time and say you have a request to make.
Lay it out and be specific. What do you need? Advice? Feedback? A new challenge?
Step 3: Identify the Barriers—Then Bulldoze Them
Barriers to asking come in all shapes and sizes. Here are some of the most common:
Fear. Is fear in the way of asking? Fear of what? The answer? The person? Something else? It’s simple. To get more of what you really want at work, face your fear, plan your approach, and go for it.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. —Mark Twain
Your boss’s (or other decision makers’) mind-sets, constraints, or concerns. Those you ask are often bound by rules, policies, guidelines, and cultural norms. And they’re concerned about fairness.
Anticipate the problems and potential barriers to your request and present ideas for solving them. Seek solutions that work for you, them, and the team.
Lack of WIIFT (what’s in it for them?). Before you go to your request granter, stop and identify the WIIFT. Ask yourself, “What’s in it for that person to grant my request? How will she benefit? Is my request a ‘piece of cake’ or really difficult to grant?” WIIFT in hand, now you’re ready to ask.
Find the WIIFT and you’ll increase the odds of getting a yes.
And If the Answer Is No?
Despite your careful planning and strategic thinking, you’ll no doubt encounter a no now and then. Listen to the reasons for the no. Then:
ask again (in a different way or at a different time)
—or—
ask how you can help make it work (brainstorm possibilities)
—or—
ask someone else (can someone else help with your request?)
—or—
ask what’s possible, if not this
—or—
ask when it might be possible, if not now
—or—
ask what you can do to improve the way you’re asking.
Don’t give up. And when they say yes, thank them—with words and in continued great performance.
People tell us that in hindsight, they wish they had asked for what they wanted. Or they wish they’d asked in a more effective way, so a decision maker could have worked with them to make it happen. Don’t expect others to take the first step. Don’t make them guess, because most often, they’ll guess wrong. Be clear. Be prepared. Be collaborative, and then ask for what you want. If you don’t ask for what you want, you’ll simply have to take what you get.
Are YOU Waiting?
Waiting for your boss to go?
Or for the economy to not be so slow?
Waiting for someone to bring fun to your work?
Or for that colleague to stop being a jerk?
Waiting for HR to chart your career?
Or for a leader to calm that downsizing fear?
Waiting for an assignment that’s exciting to do?
Or for your manager to make work better for you?
Waiting for your organization to really care?
Well, guess what? Waiting simply will not get you there!
Adapted with permission from Love It, Don’t Leave It by Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans, published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
